CINCINNATI—Surprised to discover that the once-beloved job perk had lost its appeal over the years, local barber Mike Grossman told reporters Tuesday that he was no longer even that excited by bringing home free bags of hair at the end of the day.CHICAGO—Gathering as much information on the residence as she could during the fleeting window of opportunity, local woman Kerry Egan was offered a brief, beguiling glimpse of the inside of the next-door apartment Monday upon arriving home at the same time as her neighbor.Claiming that he just wanted to do something malicious to her, committed abuser Matthew Strachan, 29, surprised his girlfriend at her office Thursday with an unexpected threat, workplace sources confirmed.DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

Australian owned and run, Adult Match Maker has been bringing people together for casual sexual encounters since 2002.

MORGAN HILL, CA—Having blown through nearly half the titles on the 20-book list in less than two weeks, chronically lonely fourth-grader Logan Parata is currently crushing the Santa Clara County Library’s summer reading program, sources confirmed Wednesday.

CHICAGO—Sprinting down the platform and frantically waving his arms, local man Dustin Sayer was reportedly running toward a departing train Wednesday because he must have finally realized he loves her.

The United States of America is the third largest country in the world, and is made up of fifty states each with their own unique personality.

The place that has given us Rock and Roll, Mickey Mouse, and Coca Cola (to name just a few things)...